I am usually a private person, so this is new to me, to open up and share my thoughts and feelings with potentially the world. I have had a life changing event in January 2010, at the tender age of 51. I was taken by ambulance, to the local hospital with what I originally thought was a heart attack. After days of tests, retests, I was told that I had diabetes. Because of my life style, I was sure I was Type 2. You know all the signs, big belly, never with out a soda, snacks of chips, chocolate, etc etc. I was really surprised when I was told Type 1. Oh boy, insulin shots, counting carbs, cut down on unhealthy foods. My devil may care life style came to a screeching halt.
I feel like I took the news well, I thought, “It could be worse, at least I can live, if I took care of things”. I didn’t realize then what a real job that it would be.
The first 3 years I was taking shot of insulin before every meal, and another one every night. I tried different foods, restaurants, snacks, reading the many web sites to learn as much as I could about my disease. I found out soon enough, all you can really do is make a best guess. One time I ate the same breakfast, lunch and dinner, everyday for a week, and gave myself the same amount of insulin each time, tried to eat at the same time, and found out it did not work out the same way every time. One day the BG’s would be about normal all day, the next, it was high all day, the next one time it would be normal for one time, high next, and low for the other. Lesson learned: eat a variety of food, and continue to check BG, and make adjustments accordingly.
In June 2012, I started on an insulin pump. It makes life a little easier, so far, just got to get the settings right. I am so glad to be rid of sticking myself with a needle at least 4 times a day, everyday. The hard part is taking more BG readings, just to make sure the pump is working. One thing I really like is everything is digitally recorded in the pump, and everything can be uploaded so that I can see and get an idea of what is going on. My glucose meters would record just the glucose readings, but didn’t give you the whole story. If I wanted to see everything, I would have to record separately how many carbs I ate then put everything together later. I am not patient enough to do all that.The pump does all of this, and gives me a place to make reports and review it all.
I put all (so far) my posts under “Captain’s Log” as I am a Star Trek fan. Daily, the Captain of the Enterprise makes a log of the events of the day. At the bottom I think I will add a Star Date. Just to be official. It really is a conversion of the day/time that I posted it. Do you know how?
My intentions for this are to share some thoughts, what I have learned, how I cope daily. Maybe to help me deal with this better, and maybe to help someone else deal better. Maybe even get comments and new ideas from others. I am not a doctor, or medically trained in anyway, and cannot or will not give medical advise, other than see your doctor.
Updated on Star Date: 2456159.260765
Why a blog? I am not really sure, I think mostly for a journey of self healing, a way to get out of the self pity mode, and get it all out.
I have read a lot, from other social sites forums. It seems to me a lot of negative comments, how hard it is to live constantly with T1D hanging over you. And all the different things that have to be changed in your life, because of T1D, I fell into a trap of sorts. About a year after diagnosis, I just wanted everything to go away, I didn’t really care if I lived or died. Other circumstances didn’t help either, a change in my job, my son was in trouble, all kinds of things that I had no control over. I felt I could not control the dreaded diabetes either, so why try? I had an A1C of somewhere around 10 or 11 (if you don’t know, that is bad). I was really tired of being literally sick and tired all the time, so new health insurance, new Doctor, got a new job (one that I am excited about), and my son seems to have a new outlook on his life.
I just want to put in a good word for my endo, and her nurse. I think they are both great.
Comparably, I am lucky. Most people with T1D are diagnosed much younger than I was. They have to do what I do for 40, 50 or more years. Not to sound morbid here, when I was diagnosed, more than half my life was already over. I was getting ready for kicking back and just go on until retirement time. I have already done all the what I consider stupid stuff reserved for youth. :) I remember I was actively trying to lose weight before I found out, and because I ignored the signs for so long, I lost around 60 pounds. The good part there, is it has not come back, the bad part is I was in really, really bad shape for a couple of months. I still think that I learned too much about how the body works, you know only doctors should know that stuff, but that is good too.
In an effort to keep things positive, I want to retire, and be healthy enough to enjoy it for at least a little while.
Star Date: 2456152.466321