Giving Up?- Never
We all have felt like giving up, just laying down, and letting what is going to happen, happen. I spent most of my life without diabetes, and there were bad days, and there were times when I gave in and didn’t try quite as much as I should have. With diabetes, I had a long period, when I didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to take care of me as well as I should and didn’t really care about too much. I still went to work, and did my job, but it was easier to call in sick during that time.
My 1st year after diagnosis, I went to see a couple of different doctors, for different things, one was checking me for cancer, found nothing there. The other was my primary care doctor, an internist. I saw him 2 or 3 times the first year, got my IC ratio, my basil almost right, prescriptions fixed all up. Found out it was cheaper to buy 3 month supply of insulin, than just a month at a time. On the last appointment that year, my doctor gave me a prescription for my insulin and other supplies to last for a year. So I thought, I did not really need to go back until I needed more supplies. I don’t remember the doctor giving me any other instructions otherwise. In my life before I had little experience with doctors, never for illness, only injuries. You always get instructions, come back in a week to check. I don’t remember hearing other instructions from the doctor, the other times that I saw him, he made a point to give a follow up appointment before I left. The last appoint before, I brought up about getting a pump, he gave me his opinion (I was not in control, wait a little more), he put me on a sliding scale for insulin dosage, gave the prescriptions, and sent me away. The last time I seen that doctor, was when I needed a new prescription, I was unpleasantly surprised. The nurse first scolded me for not being back sooner, and asked who was taking care of me. She scoffed when I said me. Then the doctor came in, some more scolding. Even more disheartening, he threatened not to write another prescription, just too much liability, for him (??). I didn’t say anything, but thought it is my life you are threatening. I really had to get control to not walk out, I didn’t have enough insulin to last more than a week or so, I had to take it. I was happy when I left with a prescription, for another year’s worth of insulin. Needless to say, my test results were terrible, 11.5 A1C, high cholesterol, I should have found another doctor, but didn’t, opting for new insurance, when I could change in about 8 months. I did however, use the internet and social sites, JDRF and ADA sites to get help.
During that last year, I was depressed, and not sure how I was going to deal with everything. Fortunately, I made it thru the year, got the new insurance, and a new doctor, who in turn referred me to an endo, who in turn started me going the right way with diabetes. It has only been 8 months, at the time of this writing, since the changes, but it is sooo much better now.
If I would have just given up, gave in, I would probably be in pretty bad shape now or worse. By not giving up, I know I have a brighter future and a good confidence that I can make lemon aide, complete with a sugar substitute :D, from the lemons I have been given. I am happy to report in January my A1C was 10.0 and in Mar was down to 9.2. Still bad, but progress.
I just noticed, the bad part is much longer than the good part of this post. I am not going to change it. Instead, I will say, the bad is much more work, than the good. If you are “lazy” like me, and want to work smarter than harder. Do stuff the good way, much less work.
Star date: 2456161.465278